And the main reason why the blog hasn't been updated for the past 2 months (yes, it is actually August 10th today) was because I had wanted to type out all myfavourite jokes/quotable quotes from all the issues in 2007. Unfortunately, I only had the stamina to type till June 2007. So here's posting this up, so that I can continue blogging =p...
Jan 2007
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.
You've got to date a lot of Volkswagens before you get to your Porsche.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessismist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Feb 2007
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Reverend Theodore Hesburgh.
Mar 2007
An old dollar bill and an even older $20 arrive at the bank to be retired. "I've had a pretty good life", says the $20. "I've been to fine restaurants, hip clubs and even a Caribbean cruis. You?" "Oh," says the dollar bill,
I've been to the Methodist church, the Baptist church, spent some times with the Lutherans - " "Wait", the $20 interrupts. "What's a church?"
When she got flowers from her husband on Valentine's Day, my daughter's friend quickly opened the card. All it read was, "No." what did that mean? She called her husband, who said " I didn't attach any message. The florist asked if I had a message, and I said "No." "
Recently, my girlfriend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware store. "The owners don't want us hanging out with your friends", she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my brother." On my first visit, I walked to the customer service desk and asked the older woman standing there, "Is Karen around?" When she looked at me quizzically, I added, "I'm her brother." She smiled at me. "What a nice surprise. I'm Karen's mother."
April 2oo7
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office. "Doc" he says "every time I see 10 cents, 5 cents, 20 cents and 50 cents, I have a panic attack. What's wrong with me?" "Oh, that's easy," said the doctor, "You're just afraid of change."
A chicken and a cow break out of prison and make their way to the border. Hiding behind a bush, they peer out at the checkpoint on the other side of a road, the only thing that stands between them and freedom. The chicken looks at the cow and says, "You go on, i'll have to turn back here." "But why?" the bewildered cow asks. The chicken's eyes move slowly from the armed guards at the checkpoint to the road in front of them. Then he says, "If I cross that road, it might raise a lot of questions."
"A woman told me she'd be too tired the night I asked her out, but she told me this two days ahead of time."
April 2007
Why is a room full of married people empty?
Because there's not a single person in it.
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
June 2007
On a tour of Spain, our bus stopped at a scenic sport in the town of Valencia, indication a nearby public facility, our guide said "Since the restrooms here are quite small, half of you should use them now. The other half," he continued "can take pictures."
A male and female driver are involved in a horrific collision. Amazingly, they escape unhurt. As they crawl fom the wreckage, the man notices that the woman is atractive. She turns to him and gushes, " We shouldn't have survived that. Maybe it's a sign that we are meant to be together.""And look" she continues, "Though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine is intact. It's another sign. Let's drink to our love!" "OK!" says the man, going with the moment. He drinks half the bottle and hands it back, "Your turn" "No thanks," says the woman, "I think I'll just wait for the police."
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
That's all folks, I didn't find any jokes/quotes that i liked in May 2007. Which of the above tickled you? Have a great day ahead!
