"Its e first nite that i have been kept awake. i read e blog faithfully updated by Zhi n so much wanted to journal down myself all e things tt hav happened. Thru it all i hav never shed a tear. There was exhaustion n pain, discomfort n inconvenience in every possible way. No m not strong nor hav great faith. All i know is tt i had to go thru this. No divine revelation, no special encounter, no angelic presence. Knowing God n having built up all tt understandin o Him thru e years has been sufficient. So there is no need for self pity or m bothered askin e question why. Some things jus like God Himself can never b understood fully. i lie pondering not in fear o diagnosis nor in worry o e treatment but tt whether i can stil serve my God w e health condition o my body. N wat bothers truly r e lessons learnt. During this time, certain things i hold dear has bn taken away. Time o cell w my gals.. Indo trip is like e physical pain, jabs n spasm which all jus need to be let go n passed thru.
N life is definitely an exciting adventure knowin e days o life r never determined by man but ordered by e Lord. No one can add or take away a second of it. E body is His temple n even when docs r baffled over what kind o illness, m sure tt e Lord who created every minute detail knows how to work n heal it. That was e comfort i hung on to during e initial week when all tests were negative n it was jus waiting and waiting. its so rare n complicated tt til this day docs have not confirmed e diagnosis n there is no medication at all. its clear at least to me tt this illness n my recovery is not one based on e knowledge o docs but wholly dependent on e wisdom n timing o God. He will raise His temple up again.
Know that e Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His pple and the sheep o His pasture. For e LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations. Psalms 100"
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